... and what exactly have I achieved this month? Nothing. Again.

The routine life of being treated like objects to make superiors happy is really ticking me off. They consider only of their own selfish wants of how to impress their peers and the means to do it, neglecting the welfare of those helping them without a thought. Sure, their mental capacities are inadequate in performing their allocated tasks due to the lack of proper education, but that is no excuse for being retards who make decisions without thinking because they 'feel like it'. This brings me to a new point, when entitlements are taken away, expect people to be unhappy. Ungrateful attitude? I think not. Especially when those entitlements are ours to begin with. Not everyone is bad, although the good ones are leaving soon ... but the one I respect the most still remains. If he goes, I go. The unhappy paragraph ends here -------------------------------------

I am going to be more active. There is no use in feeling that I am brain-dead, bored and wasting my life if I am not going to do anything about it. So there, more guitar, more aikido, more sense talk with more people and less anti-socialism.

I suppose I'll start to snap out of being agitated easily now because it isn't fair to treat innocent people with contempt just because of a bad mood especially when they are not the cause of it. It's about time to smile to the nice people in my life.

:)
Posted at 11:37 PM

Well, I really want to get into a University by this year, which means applying in April, and I really hope it's SMU that I get into. Although I don't really think my results can even get me an interview after applying for SMU, it's worth a shot and I AM taking SATs just for extra credit for SMU anyway.

Thank goodness for hope and miracles, for without them, I would probably have already signed on. Haha :/

Oh and I think I can play *some* tunes by ear already, which is amazing progress for me as I had been trying to train my ears for nearly 3 years. Yay! I still have to learn how to hold a conversation when playing my guitar because right now, all I can manage is to speak on the first beat of every bar. Heh. Yes yes, trying trying ... :)

I'm preparing for aikido grading soon because Adrian sempai wants me to go for grading, and is kind enough to give me evaluation + feedback in February to see if I can make it. So yeah, must up-belt at least once this year. :)

Thats all. Time to laze around until book in ... :)
Posted at 7:56 PM

My week of 'Off' is coming to an end and I've more or less rested up enough at home to remain sane (at a Kenneth level). :D

I've been to a class gathering and EOY just yesterday. I'm pretty surprised that they held the EOY this year at the drama hall on the third floor of the National Library instead of having it at the big open area directly below the hall, on the ground floor. I was so sure that the event was held there that I expected to see colourful decor and booths set up there but was damn surprised when there, well, just wasn't any. Heh. Overall, it was pretty okay I guess. :)

I'm confused; I had been, and I'm confused again. Maybe it's time I stop trying to de-confuse myself and just let ... No! For now? Yes. For ever? Maybe, just maybe ...
Posted at 7:25 PM

I finally graduated from my course today and got a certificate. Thats about it really, nothing much else to say about it.

I'll officially be promoted to 3rd Sergeant on the coming Friday, tomorrow and Thursday of would probably be nothing but rehearsals for the parade.

The year's almost up, and it hasn't been a very academically progressing one. That is, I'm not at all closer to securing a place in any University. I'm just hoping that the SATs that I'll do will help.
Posted at 3:52 PM

CST= Combat survival training. Don't want to think about it. It sucks fullstop.

On the other hand! My internet connection just changed to some Singtel plan so its 20 times faster than the old pacific internet plan that I used to have. More online games for me soon ... Modern Warfare 2!! :D
Posted at 9:31 PM

Now that the awful week is over, I shall start looking forward to the live range! That, however, only commences after I finish the portion of the course I am tagged to. That of which is really crappy. Then again, It'll end soon I guess.

I can't wait for the day that my training officially ends and I get my new rank, thats something else to look forward to I guess. Army is boring the crap out of me :/
Posted at 5:01 PM

Alright. It seems that this walk had come much earlier than I thought. I may have lost track of time for a bit there.

Monday is going to be the start of what would be one of the times I would NEVER think of re-living no matter how many years into the future I look back from. I only hope that I don't drag my group down again. :/

Life still seems good so far if I pretend that next week is past, however much I wish it could be. It's just going to be walk, walk, walk till Wednesday. Not much a morale-booster when phrased that way but heh, don't really have a good use for morale anyways.

Oh and by the way, thanks for the smile. :)
Posted at 12:34 AM

This officially marks the end of the tough parts of my course, including the outfield week and the dreaded route march. Yeah! I'm still pretty happy that I managed to complete it, for I didn't complete the one held on National Day. So as of today, phase one of training is complete. The reward? Long weekends! :D

Hmmm. Smiling seems easier to do the more time goes by. I think it's better if I start trying to be more sociable. I think it's about time, again. :)
Posted at 12:16 AM

Yeah, thats some old BBMak song that I've been listening to over the weekend. Pretty good song!

I feel cheerful again, on a whole. Not that I don't feel happy or cheerful when I go out with friends but I'm refering to general mood, you know, the more permanent kind? I hadn't feel this way for a long while, the last I remember being in December last year.

Don't know why my mood suddenly changed but I hope it lasts ... for good. :)
Posted at 8:54 PM

This week, I get the first taste of what my life will be like for the next 10 years or so whenever I have to go outfield. I hope it's not too tough! :)

I'm re-starting my aikido lessons from next friday onward at Sengkang dojo. Can't wait. :D
Posted at 6:39 PM

I like my new posting. Not only because I wanted it but also due to the fact that the atmosphere and 'lifestyle' is really good! The only bad thing about it is that I'll be on some kind of course throughout the whole of this year and probably half of next year. Oh and I have to go for the Jungle Confidence Course in Brunei next June too (and I don't want to go!!!).

Which means that I'm NOT taking A levels this year ... because it clashes with my courses and training schedule, which sucks because that means that the good $650+ is wasted. Sigh. Instead, I'll take it next year when I have more admin time and my life is more 'free'. :)
Posted at 12:26 PM

I know that I said in the previous post that I didn't want to mention here the vocation I got posted to but some dude whose identity I still don't know revealed it on my tagboard. Haha.

Quite anxious about tomorrow, I mean, not only because of the new camp but also to the fact only 16 people got posted to this camp (I think). I get the feeling that the whole camp is going to be really quiet at night, taking that all the regulars there will probably go home. 'Oolu' + quiet + dark = not good. Although! I am pretty excited about the new stuff I'm going to be issued. :D

So I guess I really shouldn't be thinking much about tomorrow after this post or risk not getting enough sleep ... nights! :)
Posted at 11:20 PM

Yeah, we have new postings now! I'm pretty happy with mine but I won't write it here, because we're not supposed to blog about army in great detail, so just ask me!! :DDD

Basically last week, we had our 28km route march on National Day, as it is with some other stuff, this batch was the first to have national education incorporated into a route march. I fell out halfway though, chest tight. Heh. :P

On Monday till Wednesday I had fever, which I think, probably came from either the route march ... or my cousin. It's a blessing in disguise though, for I took MC till Thursday and missed that all-so-retarded re-route march.

Have to report to the new camp on the 24th of August so I have 1 week of leave! :D
Posted at 1:29 PM

Hmmm. I don't know why, but nowadays I keep feeling lethargic. So damn lethargic.

For instance, I know for one thing that this week will be a slack one, which is a good thing of course! But I just feel so dead and so unwilling to do anything, with nothing to look forward to, nothing to think about, nothing I want to buy, nothing I want to watch and neither do I feel like sleeping, talking or even think about what I want to eat for dinner.

Sigh. Yeah, the worse thing about feeling miserable is that I don't know why I am. Or maybe I do: Army. But ... I don't think it's army though, its it's repercussions most probably. Oh well.
Posted at 5:54 PM

I just had my Grandslam fieldcamp this week. It was quite tiring for we only had roughly 12 hours of sleep in total over that span of 4 days and 3 nights. I'm glad the major field camps are over although I still have one Urban Ops fieldcamp this Tuesday though, quite short,only for 2 days and 1 night. After that, there would pretty much be nothing for us to do in camp except for attending lessons. BSLC life is getting better now! Heh :D
Posted at 4:28 PM

No no ... Not this week, next week. Yeah, I have section live firing next Sunday so I really doubt I get to go home because I'll probably have to book in on Saturday and hence, only get a 'nights out' kind of thing.

I pray that I get into a vocation that's either very prestigious (so it won't be a waste of time) or one that's slack (so I can study for A levels). If you have to do compulsory service then it's better to do something that benefits you in some way right? I mean, it's TWO BLOODY YEARS of your life gone. So why not do something worthwhile in that span of 2 years ...

I hardly have the time to play guitar or study these past weeks because we have a really packed training schedule so, yeah, looking forward to the end of this week as the training programs will start to thin out and become slacker.
Posted at 4:02 PM

It was field camp this week so my week sort of sucked. Nonetheless! I only have another field camp to go so there's the only thing left before I can start to slack. Haha! But the next field camp in two weeks is going to be an assessment so it's important that I don't screw up so much. After that it'd be slack-er compared to now.

My company had alot of the tough things scheduled earlier compared to the other companies so they, unlike us, get to slack alot more now. After the next field camp (a.k.a. 'Grandslam'), I'd only have the Urban Ops 2 day 1 night camp and my 28 km route march back to Pasir Laba from Kranji memorial left to look forward to so yeah, already halfway through BSLC.

On a sidenote: I got shortlisted for a '3 SIB sniper selection' so I'm quite happy that I have a chance to become a sniper in the army. It's a damn good opportunity because well, how many people get to go for the sniper course as an NSF right? :D
Posted at 5:12 PM

It's field camp from Tuesday to Friday in the coming week. I heard from the ASLC people that its not as tough as everyone thinks and is more accurate to be considered as a sequence of field lessons instead of an actual camp, so thats good news thankfully. Oh please don't rain. :(

Army is a good place to keep quiet and think, because you seriously have nothing better to do other than looking forward to your next bookout, or sleep. If you don't exercise your mind for long periods of time, you can slowly feel your intellect draining away as you go about your daily routines; even the reading of a simple paragraph can pose as a problem after several days of stoning.

Digressing from the previous two paragraphs, I wonder what my life would be like after army. As it is at the present, I have the same end-of-year aim as most of the other years of my life, which is to not screw up exams (Yes, I'm retaking A' levels this year and possibly also next year for those who don't know). I need more worthwhile goals ...
Posted at 8:56 PM

Bookouts in SISPEC would be shorter than normal because its on Saturday for me mostly. Yeah, I have corrective training because I probably can't get a silver for my IPPT. The good thing is that there's only one week that we have to stay back on a Sunday and thats because my live firing happens to fall on that day.

Hmmm ... army and school ... Both are quite the same. There's stress, no free time (by right there shouldn't be) and theres that little bug in your head that keeps you should be training/studying. I guess what I miss the most about school is the freedom.

Yeah thats it! Haha. Have to book in now. :)
Posted at 8:46 PM

I think I'm going to try to clear my A levels this year instead of having take it both years in the army.

So I'll basically be juggling SISPEC training and A levels.

Life just gets better ... because it can't possibly suck any more than now. Haha. :)
Posted at 12:17 AM

I got posted to SISPEC! It's okay I guess. So I'm content.

6 months of training before I get re-posted again, this time, to my unit. Yes!!! Sergeant pay! Haha! :)

I wonder how the crap I'm going to do A levels though ...
Posted at 2:19 AM

Well, the title says it all. Today is my ePosting day. For those of you who don't know what the crap that is, today is the day I find out where I get posted to, of which, I would have to reside for a minimum of 6 months at the very least.

So my NS life changes from today onwards.

Update ... later. Nights!
Posted at 1:44 AM

Just passed out from BMT last Tuesday. So that means I don't have to go back to Tekong anymore!! Ha! But ... it isn't really that bad a place though, I don't like it only because its troublesome to book in and out. Other than that, Tekong is a really nice place to be posted to I think.

Block Leave! That means no need to book in till 21st June! I can slack at home again! Haven't done that in a long time. Heh.

Rights! So. Passing out parade was kinda erm, hot. And the 24 click route march the night before was well, sleepy. Haha. I fell out at the 18km point because I couldn't keep up with the pace of the platoon and became a straggler (I think its spelt that way). Yup! So I did complete it in the end because 2Lt Aaron got 3SG Mas to walk with me at my own pace till the end point.

Been out the previous two days playing Lan and slept the whole afternoon away and I'm err, still kinda sleepy so ...

Goodnight! :)
Posted at 12:36 AM

I had high fever so I came home from Tekong yesterday night!! Booking in tomorrow at 7am though.

3 more weeks of BMT left!! Yeah!!
Posted at 10:04 PM

Half my BMT is over and I'm so damn glad that it is! No more field camp! Yeah!

My parents bought me a Sony Ericsson C905 for me and passed it to me on my first bookout 2 weeks ago, so I won't have to change phone ever again! Heh. I like the 8.1 megapixel camera especially, oh and the media player. For some reason the mediaplayer and the earpiece that came with the phone is damn good. :D

Field camp sucked. It rained on all of the 5 nights outfield, with day one being the heaviest and worst since our drainage for the 'bashas' weren't fully up to standard yet. But I'm not complaining anymore because no more field camp! Yay!

Situational test is on the coming thursday night so thats 2 more days and nights outfield. I'll have to do well if I hope of ever going to OCS. So yeah, have to really be clear-minded and focused for one more week. After that, I can 'slack' again. :D

Have to book in in 5 hours+ ... sigh. I want to slack at home ... and I ...

I miss you.
Posted at 12:49 PM

The first two weeks are okay, quite adjusted already I think. The training is quite tough but thats probably because even if you have trained for army before going in, you don't train in the same way that they do.

Field camp begins on next sunday, so that means that from that sunday till thursday or friday, I'd be sleeping in the jungle somewhere. After that week, I can finally book out every week! Yay! Because for my first month in BMT, I can only book out for 2 days. Today, unfortunately, is the second day of bookout so ... :(

Have to book in at 7.20pm. Bye!
Posted at 4:22 PM

See you all in 2 weeks. :)
Posted at 12:25 AM

Yesterday was my last day of Aikido practice so I'm going to go back in 3, 9 or 12 months.

3 more days till head shaving!! :D
Posted at 10:52 PM

I just got back from aikido at Bishan CC. Came back pretty late today because I went for supper with three of my fellow aikidoka.

Damien was telling Mephine, Yuen and myself about his 'encounters' in Malaysia and other overseas areas. To him, aikido is an art of which he could have had used in rough his army days as a means to survive. That started me thinking on the bus ride home, about myself, and the reason for me learning aikido.

I guess when I started in secondary 3, almost 4 years ago, it was because I wanted to learn to defend myself, swayed by the elegance of the art. But now, I learn aikido because of interest, going 6 out of 7 days of the week and all.

The unusual thing is, I think I learnt much faster and did much better before I stopped aikido in JC2. After that one year of aikido hiatus, it seems like my body has forgotten almost all the good aikido habits it had learnt. Thank goodness my mind remembers the techniques so at least I don't have to re-learn everything from scratch; I just have to modify what I currently remember falsely as right.

Stupid malfunctional Id. :(

17 more days to army. You can laugh at my bald head soon! :D
Posted at 12:30 AM

I got my new Aikido brown belt this week and that makes me 4th kyu! Yay! Only 2 more grades to black! But unfortunately, that two grades is going to take at least one and a half-years to attain, possibly longer due to army enlistment.

Thinking about it, army wouldn't be so bad. I mean, it is bad because you are forced to sever ties to almost everyone around you and you'll practically not know anything about your friends after that army term, in addition to depriving you of 2 whole years of precious time. But then again, the social life hiatus could be a good thing for some, not having to care that much about how friends are and consider what they are going through in their lives, except on book-out days.

I guess after what I've been through, I need a compulsory break; one that I cannot get out of until I've had the right amount of break time. I find it rather tedious to have your brain on overdrive, thinking so much about things that may or may not be worth thinking about. So, I suppose some time during which I don't have to think about much would be appreciated.

Anyways, A' levels at the end of the year is going to be one hard thing to study for. Fortunately for me, it can't possibly get any harder than last year (I think) so, I have to study much earlier for the one this year just in case.

I guess my life is okay, or ... maybe that's just what I want you, the reader, to think. Haha :D
Posted at 11:28 PM